Why Didn’t You Call?
I was asked Why didn’t you call? At first I didn’t know how to reply.
Why didn’t I call?
I suppose I didn’t want to bother you. Though this is so daft, as you have always been there and I know you will always will.
I feel ashamed I couldn’t sort it myself.
I wasn’t ready to share. Not even that, I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself.. Perhaps I even wasn’t aware at first it was going on.
Ever time I thought of calling there was something that inhibited the action. I knew you’d be at work or it was far too late to be telephoning anyone.
I tried to talk to another and did not get the response I needed, so withdrew, I just wanted to hide.
I wanted to sleep, forget, not face up to it.
I needed to re-organise things in my head. It takes so much energy to merely exist.
I should have bothered you. I know you care. You have always helped and been there for me, even when I didn’t even know I needed you. You make me feel at peace. You make me smile. I don’t tell you enough. I don’t thank you for being there.
I will remember to call. I need to call.