Accepting a compliment
I actually got comments yesterday! Yes, from people who do not know me! It was really quite exciting… not only that, but people wrote nice things (no figure.)
It reminded me of how uncomfortable I feel when a compliment comes my way. How, when I think about why people are friends with me I just don’t get it. The concept that I can instil the joy in others that they create in me, just doesn’t sit right.
Now, I know this is daft, totally and utterly illogical, so I generally just don’t think about it, pushing it to the back of my brain. Though yesterday, a conversation started and my mind started going through the probable reasons why someone would keep coming back, each day, to be my friend. I could not come up anything, except perhaps it was a ruse on their path, and they were going to just say, ha, it’s all a big joke.
However today I turned my thinking upside down, I thought of how people make me feel, that excitement when I get an email or phone call from one of my friends, that feeling when you know they are going to visit and you’re going to get a hug, or the knowledge that the only person who can give you the answer to your problem is them.
I dared to believe that perhaps, on some small level, that is what I bring to those around me. Ugh, seeing that in black and white makes me feel so conceited.
I was asked once why I gave compliments, did I say things to people that I didn’t mean, and that had a negative reason attached. Well no, when I give a compliment I mean it, and even if I don’t know someone, I try to find something positive to say, particularly if they look like they are having a bad day. With this in mind, the wise woman who asked the question said, do you not think that is why people compliment you, that they actually believe what they are saying, and that if you accept their compliment it will in turn make them feel good. (How many times have you complimented someone on what they are wearing and their retort is, “Oh this old thing” and you feel bad for saying anything in the first place).
So today I am thankful that people said nice things about the blog, and that people choose to be my friend, just because they can, and that is enough. No extra thinking required.