I am thinking of going back to University, but am not sure what to study, where to study and to be honest, how I will afford it. But I do know I want to study again. I’ve missed it, not the stress at exams or to get an assignment in on time, but the pure learning part. That’s not to say I don’t feel like I learn new things every day, but that feeling of stretching the mind is something I truly enjoy.
So I feel transported back to school days, a teenager again, trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life. Only this time I’ve done some of the things already, I am constrained by relationships, yet have the extra support that these give. I am constrained by time, but am more focused. I am constrained by finances, but who isn’t at the moment. My teenage self knew what she wanted, she was much more fearless than my current self, the current self keeps asking “but what if…” questions, not to talk herself out of any decisions but due to experience.
I’ve half a mind to tell the current self to sit down, be quiet and listen to the teenage self, the one who had a plan for her life, though didn’t quiet follow it the first time (that is a whole other story). Believe that she knew, what is known now, and to have faith in those beliefs.
So no further forward with final decisions, but definitely on the path, wherever that may lead.